Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day and the invisible man has a list of 10 specific things he doesn’t want you to do and if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place a special place of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and needs the money.

— George Carlin